dear lisa my name is chrissy and im 21 yrs old i have some serious issues that are going to ruin my marrage and i dont know what else to do i have a problem with all females. my husband is very trustworthy but i cant stand the way they act to males and when were in the same room with another female i get so angry and everything else if they didnt exist id be perfectlly fine.females have a way of lururing men and showing off and it make me crazy when girls act obnoxious.even ifs its a 13 yr olf girl and shes acting hyper and stuff i think shes automatically trying to get mens attention and thats why i get mad .i just dony want to be there if a female acts aggresive when my husbands around it would make me sick and mad. can you give me medication advice like maybe post stress disorderthanks

Dear Chrissy,

Firstly, I don't believe you need medication to deal with your jealously around other women. You have indicated that your husband is trustworthy, so I would ask yourself where in your life has a woman lured a man you care about away from you? Perhaps this happened in a previous relationship or perhaps your father left your mother for another woman or perhaps your father gave your mother or your siblings more attention than you and this made you mad. If you could return to this experience and feel your feelings around this so that you could work through this original experience then you are less likely to become triggered by needy women now.

My experience has been that if someone's behavior, such as a woman needing a man's attention, is really bothering you then it is important to look inside of yourself to see how you too need a man's attention. You may have a completely different way of going about it then the women that you described do, however, your need for their attention maybe the same. It may be true that you did not get the attention you needed from your father and you may not have a relationship with him where you can ask him for what you need. If you do have this kind of relationship, I suggest that you do ask ,however, this does not mean that you will get what you ask for. In the meantime, I suggest that you give yourself what it is that you are wanting from men. There are three main needs when I am working with people that they suggest they need. These needs include time, attention and touch. It is important that you give these to yourself and if your partner is willing, to also ask him for something that you need. I have found that partners have difficulty meeting their own needs much less meeting the needs of their mate, so I have learned to give myself what I need and whatever else I receive from my partner or my parents is gravy.

These women outside of yourself are just showing you how hungry you are for some form of time, attention and touch, so being angry at them does not contribute to your growth and they are not going to change, so you might as well invest in changing yourself.

Good luck Chrissy