Hello

I have a sister back east who is currently experiencing a severe manic episode. This has been going on since the summer. As far as we know she has not taken meds since then. She was recently hospitalized against her will but was released after one week. She is still manic.

My parents are elderly and have been emotionally abused by my sister by spreading lies about them via email. I am unaware of how to deal with the situation. Can you offer any help or advice to me.

Thank you

Hello,

It is always an emotionally difficult situation when one of our family members with a mental health issue becomes non-compliant with their medication. If you perceive her to be of imminent danger to others or to herself, then you are likely aware that you can obtain a mental health warrant through the courts and have her involuntarily committed. As you have recently experienced, however, is just how difficult it can be to keep her in hospital.

It is also difficult to feel into just how powerless you feel in a circumstance like this. This does not mean that you give up on your sister, on the contrary. You need to continue to make yourself available to her so that when she is ready to receive your help, you are there to provide it to her. You need to continue to express your concern to her and to let her know that she is better off when she is taking her medication. We know that all manic episodes eventually run their course and you can be there to provide your help and to mobilize professional help when she is more receptive to it.

Are you receiving counselling assistance for yourself to help you to deal with the stress and worry of her manic episode? Often caretakers mistakenly believe that the family member with the mental health issue is the only one that would benefit from professional support. We, as family members’ caretaking others can develop what is now known as Compassion Fatigue. This occurs, when you, the caretaker start to develop symptoms of depression, isolation, apathy and anger as a reaction to providing care to others while forgetting to take care of yourself. So I highly recommend that you get some help for yourself through a Bi-Polar support group for family members and/or seek out a counselor who has an expertise in this area. There are also many reading resources for families of a loved one who is Bi-Polar.

Regarding your sisters’ distressing e-mails to your parents, can you talk to them and re-assure them that her e-mails are a manifestation of her illness.

The best of luck to you and I am happy that you are reaching out to help your sister.